What Do You Want From Me?
by jls62113
Summary: Carl's back from the Sanctuary and is faced with Rick's anger at his reckless decision. Rick has to make a heartbreaking decision regarding Carl.


Michonne and Carl looked up at the ceiling hearing Rick pace back and forth upstairs. Carl sat on one of the dining room chairs while Michonne did some pacing of her own. Negan had returned Carl to them after Carl had infiltrated Negan's residence. Rick had been furious, too furious to even talk to Carl. Finally, they heard Rick's footsteps on from the bedroom to the hall and then the stairs. Michonne looked over towards the stairs as Rick came down them and walked into the living room. He looked at her with weary, bloodshot eyes. The look on his face was somber and saddened. He walked over to where Carl sat and stood several feet from him. Carl looked at his father with a defiance that punched Rick right in his heart.

"What were you thinking?" Rick said finally with a carefully controlled voice.

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said."

Carl scoffed and shook his head.

"Why don't you talk to Negan like that?"

Rick clenched his jaw and looked over at Michonne who was looking at Carl in shock. Rick slowly put his hands on his hips and looked down at the floor. Carl was always disappointed in him somehow.

"He's beaten you just like the governor did."

Rick flew at Carl so fast Michonne was unable to get in between them. Rick grabbed Carl by his shirt lifting him from the chair he was sitting on and slammed him up against the wall behind him.

"You have no idea what this is all about! Every move we make is observed so it can be used against us. What you did brought him here again, and from now on he will constantly dangle you in front of me. He will use any of you just to get at me!"

"Rick." Michonne said quietly. She gently pulled on his arm to get him to release Carl.

Rick let go of Carl and walked a few feet away and stood in front of the fireplace. He dragged his hand through his hair and turned around to face them.

"Maybe that's what you want. Maybe you want to see me destroyed, but why? What do you want from me Carl?"

"I want you to do something. He killed our friends, our family and you've done nothing."

"So you're saying you wanted me to attack Negan, and probably fail because he's surrounded by his men. He won't kill me. He'll make me watch him while he blows Michonne's brains out or yours or he takes Judith from me. What do you want Carl? Tell me!"

Carl couldn't answer. Rick looked at Michonne and saw the helplessness in her eyes.

"You got away with pulling a gun on that savior and breaking into Negan's compound because you're young, and he's cutting you a break for some reason, but there'll come a time when he won't, and innocent people will pay the price. Every move you've made has been a selfish one without any thought for others. All of our guns were taken because of what you did. It's like you don't care. Your mother warned me about you turning cold. She was right."

Rick started to cry acknowledging the fact that his son has been far from his influence for a long time now.

"I'm sorry." Rick said wiping the tears from his face. "You were my responsibility and I failed you. You are your own man now. Obviously nothing I can say to you will make a difference."

He looked over at Michonne who was crying too. Then he looked back at Carl.

"But let me tell you this, from this point on, any action you take that puts any one of us in danger, I will deal with you as the man that you think you are, and if that means exiling you, I will. I love you Carl and I always will, but I'm your father and the leader of this group. War has been waged on us and I have to deal with it in a smart way, not your way. So if you're going to be a part of this group, this family, you have to follow. If you feel you can't follow, then I'll treat you as threat."

Michonne started to speak out, but she knew at this moment she wouldn't be heard. Rick stood staring at Carl. He knew in his heart that Carl had stopped being a boy the moment they left Hershel's farm.

"I love you too, but your father is right." Michonne said looking at Carl. "What Negan did I will never forget. He's put your father in a position where the only thing he can do right now is comply. We will get out of this, but we have to follow your father."

"But where has his way gotten us?" Carl said pointing at Rick.

Rick frowned at Carl, hating what he just said. He was starting to sound like Spencer.

"Alive." Michonne said through tears. "All of us. Do you even know what he's had to go through to do that? He's had to go against everything he believed in just to get us here, and his first priority has always been you and your sister. That's why he takes this crap from Negan. It takes a strong man to do that. Negan wanted to kill all of us. Your dad had to let that madman put him through hell to prevent that. I admit I've had trouble accepting what's happening, but I have to accept it because I support your father. When I was out there by myself I would have hunted Negan down or killed as many of his men as I could before they caught me. That's what I would do if it was just me, but it's not just me. If we do what we want to innocent people will die. Do you understand that?"

Carl didn't answer.

"You better answer me now." Michonne said glaring at Carl.

"Yes." Carl said angrily. "I thought you agreed with me." Carl looked at Michonne.

"I told you that I disagree with your father, but that I didn't know for sure. If you're going to stand up as a man, you'd better be sure of what you know before you act, and if you're still thinking you're going to do something that puts this group at risk, I'm with your father on this, you're on your own."

The three of them stood there quietly for a moment. Rick shifted nervously on his feet.

"I'm going for a walk."

"Wait a minute." Michonne said stopping him. "I want this resolved now. I can't stay in a house that's divided like we are. Carl, you in or out? This decision is yours and yours alone to make. I won't have you go against your father just because you disagree with him. You can disagree, but never take sides against him."

Carl finally turned his defiant eyes to the floor.

"I disagree with you dad, but I won't go against you."

Michonne closed her eyes and exhaled. Rick looked at his son and nodded.

"I'm sorry I'm not the man you think I should be right now, but right now this is who I have to be."

Carl nodded.

"Dad, Michonne, I think I'd like to go stay at the Hilltop with Maggie and Sasha. Would that be alright?"

Michonne looked over at Rick.

"Same thing goes there as well. Don't put anyone's life at risk." Rick said. "Follow Maggie's lead and help her."

"Okay." Carl said leaving the room and going up the stairs.

Michonne walked over to Rick.

"I had to let him go." Rick said looking at Michonne.

"I know. Are you okay?"

"No, but I will be. Thank you." Rick said giving her a hug.

He gave her a quick kiss and went upstairs. He went to Carl's room and found him packing.

"Is Enid at the Hilltop?"

"Yeah. She left here when I did. We parted ways when we got to the Hilltop."

"Did you see Maggie and Sasha?"

"No. The saviors were there collecting, and that's when I stowed away."

Rick knew Maggie and Sasha were okay. Jesus was there with them.

"Be careful son."

"I will Dad. I'm sorry I'm the way I am."

"That's not your fault. This world is not quite as it was."

"That's an understatement."

Rick smiled sadly at Carl.

"Your mother and I wanted a happier life for you. Carl, if you have to act, think first of others and what effect your actions will have on their lives. Try your best to do the right thing."

Carl nodded and hugged Rick.

"I love you son."

"I love you too Dad."


End file.
